Ever wonder about where sharing a cup of coffee with someone could lead? Do we intentionally make the time in our lives to experience these opportunities? Are we too rushed or trapped within the confines of our schedules and calendar to make room for such a small gift for one another and for ourselves? As the Director of Religious Education for our parish community of Immaculate Conception, in Hampton, Virginia, I recently collaborated with Mark Hoggard, our Pastoral Associate, and with speaker, colleague, and friend, Debbie Stollery, for an intentional community gathering that took place in mid-January. This “1000 Cups of Coffee” gathering is the first of many purposeful efforts within our parish to recognize and unpack the true gift of a cup of coffee and meaningful conversation among the People of God. Why now? This initiative is part of our 2025 parish-wide reflection as “Pilgrims of Hope”, our first step in being a "hope-happens-here" parish.
Over the course of one weekend, we were able to invite parishioners to a session following two of three of our regularly scheduled Masses. As an active Fair Trade/Equal Exchange community, we had the coffee part down pat! We added some delicious food-bites to accompany the coffee and then the exciting wonder of the encounter commenced. After listening closely to Debbie’s inspiring presentation on the “Anatomy of Hope” and what hope means for us as journeying, synodal pilgrims, we then embraced our coffee coasters and did a deep dive into two basic questions with our tablemate friends: What fills your heart about our Church? What breaks your heart about our Church? The coffee coasters we designed (see the photo accompanying this blog) provided a scan code for folks to use to electronically record their responses. Some preferred the tried-and-true method of pen and paper, and so we provided hard-copies for them to record thoughts in that manner as well.
The conversations that unfolded were extraordinary! The themes we have been able to extract from the responses have proven quite insightful regarding what we celebrate, what we are plagued with, what we smile about, what we cry about and everything in between pertaining to being Church (locally and universally). The shortage of and the formation of clergy; the wonderful, welcoming community of our parish; the distinct choice of some pockets of hierarchy to ignore Vatican II and the perplexing desire to return to a pre-Vatican II Church; the beautiful celebration of sacraments with active participation of adults and children alike; the “missing” high school teens and college-age young adults; cultural and social diversity and inclusivity; the biting, political nature of the USCCB; the beloved teachings of Pope Francis; the fear of shifts toward clericalism and misogyny by some; an intentional effort toward Care for Creation; the dismissed or misunderstood role of laity (particularly women) in the Church; the dreams and hopes of a Synodal Church! These are the highlights of what we gathered. So…what now, what next?
Well, we made it known that we have begun the intentional nature of coffee and conversation within our parish so now it is time to take this same activity outside of the parish and have conversations with others…those in our families, our neighbors, our friends, those we used to see at the parish and are no longer attending, those who are not-practicing but still willing to reflect upon what Church really is in the their life. Additionally, we have begun looking more closely at the Final Document of the Synod on Synodality and what it means to “cast our nets” (Recall my previous blog, On the Road to Implementing Synodality: Casting the Net!). "The meaning and the dimension of synodality includes a path of spiritual renewal and structural reform that enables the Church to be more participatory and missionary so that it can walk with every man and woman, radiating the light of Christ” (#28). In considering that necessary spiritual renewal and structural reform, intentionality leads our pathways with listening, praying, meditating, dialoguing, accompanying, discerning, deciding, and acting (#29). We have formulated a year of monthly gatherings/presentations that focus upon who we are as Pilgrims of Hope embracing Vatican II at 60. And the dreams of who we can BE as Church continue onward…
You may also notice in this blog’s photo the two coffee coasters of my daughters when they and I were much younger. Personally, this was a season of my own life when I was a single mother walking an uncertain pathway. A season where I was on “auto-pilot”, if you will; a season of survival and doing what was necessary for the safety and well-being of my daughters; a season where I was dismissive of my own Church efforts yet made strides to bring Church to my girls; a season of uncertainty and worry. A season of personal, unintentional “brokenness”. However, today I view this photo in a different light. There is joyful hope in knowing that my now 19-year-old and 17-year-old daughters are on a path of discovery and learning as lovely young Christian women. There is a dream in my heart of what our Catholic Church could be for my daughters and for all of us if we embrace synodal efforts intentionally, one-step-at-a-time. There is encouragement in knowing that my ongoing academic journey and ministry has led to much learning and understanding about the movement of the Holy Spirit and the importance of its “nudges” in our lives despite uncertainty.
There is a genuine beauty in the simplicity of a cup of coffee and conversation that can lead to so many wonderful possibilities. Are you ready to keep journeying, friends? Well, allow me to invite you…Go grab a cup of coffee with someone and share your thoughts about these two questions: “What fills your heart about our Church?” and “What breaks your heart about our Church?” and record your conversation responses here.
Photo Credit: Jean Hawley
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